Introduction
Exploring one’s development can reveal many patterns and events that became foundational in building a person’s experiences and emotional responses. Developmental theory posits that all people go through the same stages during which they learn about the world (Latif, 2021). At the same time, each individual’s environment is unique, a mix of family, school, and other relationships. Thus, analyzing the past can be a valuable practice through which a person may learn more about themselves. In this paper, a reflection of a willing participant will be presented in the third-person view. To protect the individual’s identity, her name will be changed to “Mary,” and her location or other identifiable data will not be disclosed.
Body and Physical Development
According to Mary’s parents, her birth was not difficult, and she was born on time. However, she also states that her mother told her how difficult the pregnancy was for her health. Mary is unsure why her mother experienced problems but recalls it as a commonly told story in her childhood. Mary learned to crawl as expected and started walking early, which surprised her parents. She also started talking quickly, although she cannot remember when. However, she remembers speaking with many people at an early age. During her middle childhood, Mary struggled with physical development and coordination. The woman states that she never learned to swim properly, for example. She also believes she started learning to ride a bicycle and ice skating relatively late – at 12 or 13 years old.
Mary is 30 years old, and her health has changed significantly since childhood. As a child, Mary struggled with being sick often, and she recalls having a cold almost every other month until she was 15 or 16 years old. She is also allergic to cats and dogs, but her family always had pets, so she got used to feeling sick and taking medication to help her breathe. Now, the woman does not have similar problems, as she lives with her spouse and does not have pets. However, she continues taking medication, as she has been diagnosed with asthma. Mary does not recall any specific problems with movement, stating that she exercises regularly but does not engage in sports much. Talking about recent major illnesses, the woman recalls having COVID-19, which affected her health in the long term, although she believes that the changes were minor.
The interviewee does not describe any particular physical talents above a common level of fine motor skills, as she was never engaged in sports as a child or teenager. She states that one of the possible strengths is her endurance – Mary has experience working while standing for hours without breaks and not feeling too overwhelmed or tired. However, in the later years, the woman started noticing that her back and legs hurt when she did not take breaks to rest. Mary believes that although she is still 30, her endurance is not as good as it used to be. Moreover, her new job, which requires her to look at the computer screen most of the time, has affected her sight and brought on a new problem of frequent headaches.
Parenting and Family
Mary describes her parents as caring and loving, showing an authoritative parenting style. She believes the main strengths of the parenting she received were the focus on positive emotions and a degree of personal choice. For example, Mary could decline foods, clothing choices, social events, and hobbies she did not enjoy, which can be signs of secure attachment (Latif, 2021). The woman could also choose what she wanted to do and talk to her parents when she wanted to try something new. However, Mary also believes that her parents placed restrictions on her freedom because they were worried about her well-being. For example, she recalls having a much earlier curfew than most of her friends during middle and high school, which often caused conflicts between Mary and her parents.
The interviewee has a brother who is a decade older than her. As the age difference is rather significant, the woman states that she was never close to her brother as a child but that their relationship developed more when she reached adulthood. Nevertheless, Mary recalls viewing her brother’s hobbies as exciting and taking on many of his childhood interests, including his music tastes, movies, and more. Mary’s brother was not home usually, according to her, and he went to college in a different state and then started working far from home. As a result, Mary did not see her brother often when she was a teenager. Mary believes that although she did not interact much with him, his identity has also impacted her personality. The siblings started spending more time together as adults, especially during family gatherings, which developed into a closer friendship. Mary states that being adults helped them connect over common issues and experiences.
Mary’s closest family is rather small, having only one aunt and uncle on each parent’s side and knowing only a few cousins. Her grandparents played a significant role in her development, often volunteering to babysit her. Moreover, while the grandparents lived separately, the family often visited them and spent time together. Mary recalls learning many skills from both grandmothers and having a relationship with all grandparents. Now, Mary’s grandparents have passed, but she has developed a closer connection with her aunts, uncles, and cousins, who act as an additional support system.
Mind
Mary remembers being excited about going to school and eager to connect with peers and learn. She recalls having good relationships with most teachers and classmates, although she also experienced some bullying from a small group of peers. While going through high school, her view of the school changed as her relationship with some classmates strained, but she retained her desire to perform well academically.
The interviewee states that her parents did not impose strict expectations on her, believing that learning and understanding were more important than good grades. Therefore, they emphasized helping her with assignments, discussing topics, and discussing school experiences. Mary talks about teachers at her school being rather strict and giving a lot of homework, which was overwhelming for most students. Peers had no academic expectations for other students and emphasized the value of status and participation, and Mary struggled to balance academic achievement and socializing.
Mary states that such strengths as a positive attitude, creativity, and hard work helped her get through school. She remembers performing well in sciences and humanitarian subjects due to her open personality and interest in many topics. However, she struggled in sports due to her health and the lack of accommodation for frequent sickness. Mary continues to take different courses and learn, and her curiosity for education remains strong.
Although Mary does not have specific long-term learning goals, she believes she will continue to acquire new skills that interest her for as long as possible. For example, she is currently learning a third language—French—and wants to learn a few musical instruments in the future. Mary sees herself as a lifelong learner and argues that new skills help her be more engaged and optimistic about the world.
Emotion
Mary recalls her early emotional temperament as joyful and reflective. At home, she was allowed to express herself in most cases, although her parents and community critiqued negative emotions such as anger and frustration. Expressed anger, physical violence, and harsh language were not allowed—Mary states that her parents tried not to expose her to their personal issues and conflicts. Most openly communicated emotions were positive, including love, excitement, and humor.
Now, Mary is most comfortable with positive emotions and still struggles to accept negativity in her life. As she retained her contemplative personality since childhood, she often thinks about experiences to analyze her behavior and emotions, which can be a cause of anxiety. However, the woman notes that her ability to self-reflect has helped her become more acquainted with expressing sadness and anger as an adult. Mary believes that if her parents were more open about some events and struggles they faced, her experiences with negativity would be different.
Conclusion
Mary’s recollection of her life shows the stages of her physical and emotional development and the unique patterns of her personality. Although she struggled with health problems in childhood, she maintained a positive attitude and curiosity. Mary’s relationships throughout her life were based on openness and joy, which helped her through academic hardships but also failed to prepare her for negative emotions and some life problems. Nevertheless, Mary has developed an ability to reflect and grow as an adult.
Reference
Latif, S. (2021). Developmental psychology 101: Theories, stages, & research. Web.