Summary
Nowadays, success and confidence are highly discussed, with countless books written, speeches uploaded, and seminars held. Many people constantly search for the key to success, thinking that the perfect education and prestigious firms will make them successful and confident. However, people continue to compare themselves to those around them, failing to notice that confidence must come from within and opportunities should not always be perfect, which is why many people feel miserable.
The Harmful Effects of Relative Deprivation
The first theme that permeates all three works is relative deprivation, which plays a significant role in individuals’ pursuit of success. All writers contend that individuals usually compare themselves to others who are more successful, leading to decreased confidence. For example, Bruni, in his work, demonstrated the experience of Jenna Leahy, who, despite her success at Phillips Exeter Academy, was rejected from the majority of top universities (Bruni 2).
As a result, the woman “felt like some kind of magnet for rejection” (Bruni 2). Because Jenna was used to being an achiever and surrounding herself with successful people, such challenges and the inability to resist them and keep up with people from her circle made the young girl doubt herself and her abilities. A trip to do charitable work in Mexico helped her, which later led to her studies abroad, fellowships, and federal grants to start a public elementary school (Bruni 3). Therefore, not living up to one’s potential can significantly decrease one’s confidence and hinder the pursuit of one’s dreams.
Similarly, in his work “David and Goliath,” Malcolm Gladwell focuses on the theory of a big fish in a little pond through the example of Caroline Sacks. He illustrates how the pressure to attend elite universities or work at prestigious companies affects individuals’ confidence in their abilities. The author demonstrates how Caroline has always been attracted to the field of science and decided to pursue this path at Brown University (Gladwell 51). However, despite being accepted into the university, the young woman struggled due to pressure, inability to keep up with the pace of her studies, and intense competition (Gladwell 51). Caroline had a narrow definition of success and believed that the way to enter the field of science was through a prestigious university.
As a result, Sacks’ decision to choose Brown University instead of the University of Maryland resulted in a distorted perception of her abilities and the destruction of her belief in herself. Caroline felt like a small fish in a big pond, with everybody chasing success and opportunities. Seeing the difference between herself and others and how she lagged in her education significantly lowered her confidence (Gladwell 51). In the end, Sacks admits, “If I’d gone to the University of Maryland, I’d still be in science” (Gladwell 51). This shows how relative deprivation makes others constantly compare themselves with those around them, which might not lead to positive results.
Furthermore, Adam Grant, in his article, emphasizes that being a big fish in a small pond can be beneficial. The important factors for achieving success and confidence in life and career are the ability to flourish and explore one’s potential. The author illustrated through the example of Kat Cole that being a waitress at Hooters can be a beneficial experience since one can rise from waitress to the company president.Â
As emphasized in the article, “there weren’t Wharton M.B.A.s beating down the doors to go work at Hooters, and so they had to look within to find their talent” (Grant para. 10). The author later added that “the strongest opportunities for development aren’t always in the most influential place,” emphasizing that possibilities are at a place where one can have an impact and acquire skills (Grant, para. 5). As a result, Kat Cole stood out from other employees and had an impeccable record of achievements, which helped her become the president of the billion-dollar company.
Success Without Prestige
After considering the first point, one can see that education at top universities does not guarantee success, and the emphasis on prestige can only make a person pursue the wrong dream. As Gladwell emphasized, “the more elite an educational institution is, the worse students feel about their own academic abilities” (Gladwell 63). The writer shows that the feeling about one’s worth matters, and the environment “shapes your willingness to tackle challenges and finish difficult tasks” (Gladwell 63). The given statement shows that one’s environment is one of the most significant factors of success and confidence.
Another argument is that confidence comes from within, and success does not always come from perfect opportunities. Bruni showed this explicitly by introducing Peter Hart to the audience. From the beginning, one can see that Peter is not as ambitious as his friends and does not aspire to be an Ivy League graduate. He attended Indiana University, which was not the most prestigious institution (Bruni 2).
However, this setting helped Hart not only gain confidence but thrive. While being a big fish in a small pond, Peter could “draw the attention of professors, becoming vice president of a business fraternity on campus, cobbling together the capital to start his own tiny real estate enterprise” (Bruni 2). Consequently, later in his life, “he could swim with the sharks” (Bruni 2). The author emphasized that Indiana University “turned him into a bolder, surer person, allowing him to discover and nurture a mettle that hadn’t been teased out before” (Bruni 2). Therefore, a lack of pressure helped Peter foster a sense of confidence.
Growth Beyond Elite Labels
Lastly, I can relate to all the works and their points since I, too, experienced the same situations. In my experience, I worked for several companies, one being a small-capital firm with a united team and another being a large-capital company that is highly hierarchical and competitive. However, the most significant personal and career growth came from being a part of a smaller company where I made an impact and played a role in the development of the business.
In contrast, while working for a large firm, I felt miserable since I saw how everybody attended prestigious schools and tried to always be ahead of me. Consequently, I realized that success does not stem from one’s alma mater; it comes in various shapes and forms. Oprah Winfrey is one significant example of how a person without a background in a wealthy family and a prestigious university can become successful. Such examples show that the main determinant of success is not the university one attends but confidence.Â
Hence, people frequently feel dissatisfied because they continually compare themselves to those around them, failing to realize that confidence comes from the inside and that possibilities should not always be perfect. The first recurring theme in all three pieces is relative deprivation. According to all authors, people frequently compare themselves to those who are more successful than they are, which causes their confidence to decline. Another point that emerges from the setting of writers’ works is that greatness does not always result from perfect circumstances and that confidence comes from the inside. Being a big fish in a small pond and not under pressure can often help one flourish.
Works Cited
Bruni, Frank. Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania. United States, Grand Central Publishing, 2015.
Gladwell, Malcolm. David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits and the Art of Battling Giants. United Kingdom, Penguin Books Limited, 2013.
Grant, Adam. “Should You Always Strive to Work at the Most ‘Prestigious’ Places? Well …” The New York Times, 2019, Web.