Video Discussion
According to Adam Phillips, people fear frustration because society stigmatizes the feeling. Phillips cites the example that when a child expresses his hopes and dreams, he is believed in and supported, but when he is an adult, he is asked many questions about possible obstacles (Thinkingaloud7189, 2016). It is the same with feelings. Adults are expected to be in total control of their emotions and the predominance of positive feelings.
People fear frustration because society imposes that they should not experience such emotions. In other words, people today are trapped in toxic positivity. All attempts to evade, stifle, or suppress negativity result in a reverse reaction. The avoidance of distress is a form of torture; the rejection of failure is defeat. However, toxic positivity requires just that–to force one to appear optimistic and suppress negative emotions, no matter how fake that optimism may be. The range of feelings comprises such unregulated ones as sadness, disillusionment, angst, anxiety, or jealousy.
We are unable to ignore the point that, as humans, we possess a full array of these feelings, which are helpful and keep us informed of what is occurring both around us and in our bodies. In addition, they give a person insight into building the most comfortable environment around them. According to Adam Phillips, people must stop hiding that disappointments can happen in life and even in those things that should have been enjoyable (Thinkingaloud7189, 2016). We need to recognize that some things do not bring that pleasure and not hide the negative emotions within ourselves, replacing them with fake positive ones. Then people will stop fearing frustration because they will understand that experiencing such experiences is acceptable and not stigmatized.
Video Reflection
I agree with Adam Phillips about the impropriety of hiding one’s feelings. The most evocative part of the Video was the discussion of society’s imposition of the need to experience exclusively positive emotions. Indeed, the notion of positive psychology over time has become perverted. Focusing on the positive dimensions of various life situations can be beneficial, even from a therapeutic point of view. If this is infatuated, the challenge is that it can lead to a decreased ability to cope with adverse situations. Neglecting harmful and distressing conditions is like seeing the world with one eye.
My main question after watching it is how you can retrain yourself to stop denying negative emotions. After all, society has firmly planted the idea that it is not normal to experience frustration or disappointment in people’s heads. My main conclusion from this interview was that denying the experience of negative emotions is a social construct that must be gotten rid of. Indeed, if we were more sincere, we would not be embarrassed to feel anything. We are humans; we must permit ourselves to experience the whole spectrum of emotions. We may not always be positive. Feelings are like waves: they accelerate, gain strength, and slow down, turning into foam and disappearing. Difficulties begin when we are unwilling to feel the way we feel; then, we lose resilience to the next wave.
Reference
Thinkingaloud7189. (2016). Adam Phillips: On pleasure & frustration. [Video]. YouTube. Web.