The results of Attachment Styles and Close Relationships test demonstrates that my attachment style is secure. In particular, my attachment-related anxiety score is 1.5, and my attachment-related avoidance score is 1.83. The primary influence of the attachment style on my interpersonal relationship is that I tend to get less stress from it in comparison with my friends. I feel emotionally affected by my partner, and I am comfortable with committing to a long-term relationship with him. I also prefer to share all my thoughts, ideas, and worries with my partner, which helps to build affection and loyalty to each other.
The attachment theory can be applied to my attachment style and partially explains the experience of my partner. According to Hazan and Shaver (1987), the attachment style is fixed during childhood in relationships with one’s mother. My experience confirms the theory since my mother and I had a very close link during my childhood. My mother was very attentive and affectionate towards me, and I shared all my thoughts with her without the fear of being rejected. My partner, however, had negative relationships with his mother and other family members. Therefore, he was more anxious about losing our links, which also confirms the research by Hazan and Shaver (1987). However, my partner’s attachment style seems to have changed after being in a long relationship with me.
After being together for more than five years, my partner says that he experiences less stress and anxiety in our relationship. According to Lee (2003), the primary criticism of the attachment theory is that it ignores the nature of people and focuses on nurture. Moreover, the argument presupposes that the attachment style cannot be changed in adulthood. The results of my partner’s test show that he now (barely) falls into the secure region as well. In other words, his experience shows that the attachment style is not fixed in childhood. Therefore, the theory promoted by Hazan and Shaver (1987) is only partially valid.
References
Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511–524. Web.
Lee, E. J. (2003). The attachment system throughout the life course: Review and criticisms of attachment theory. Web.