Introduction
Relationships within the family are a complex subject for study. This is because there is a constant interaction of individuals who have unique character traits and play the role of a valuable social institution for the future generation. However, there are cases when a couple faces marital problems that can lead to divorce. In such cases, support and necessary assistance can be provided by marriage counseling with a specialist. This work will explore the case of Jeff and Melissa, an elderly couple who turned to a therapist to solve problems that arose in their marriage, and will offer an intervention strategy for assistance to the spouses.
Main body
The case considered in this work concerns a couple, Jeff and Melissa, who have been married for forty-five years. First of all, when studying the case of problems in marriage, it is necessary to obtain information about the nuclear family itself and the relatives of the husband and wife. They came from Christian families and met while studying in college. After getting married, the couple moved a lot from city to city since Jeff was in the Navy. Because the husband’s work required his long absence, the wife often had to stay alone, away from family and loved ones.
The first beginnings of problems appeared at the time when Melissa became pregnant with her first child. She was stressed out about not being able to have her sister or other relatives around her. Shortly after the birth of their son, the family returned to New Orleans, where their daughter was born. It is noted that for almost twenty-five years, spouses did not encounter severe issues and that their family life was peaceful and calm. However, at the age of thirty-one, their daughter was diagnosed with cancer, and she soon died, which greatly affected Melissa. Moreover, their son faced problems in his marriage, which was on the verge of divorce. The fact that neither Jeff nor Melissa had ever faced such circumstances put a lot of stress on them.
The main problem with which the couple turned to a counseling specialist is constant serious and large-scale quarrels. The couple notes that they have never faced this kind of conflict before. However, increasingly, they fight, and their conflicts arise based on things that they cannot control. One of them is the unexpected and rapid death of her daughter and extremely difficult and tense relations in her son’s family. Jeff and Melissa, in their lives, have never experienced the experience of going through the divorce procedure and know quite a bit about this area. Therefore, they decided to turn to a therapist for help.
When developing a strategy that can be used to solve Jeff and Melissa’s problem, first of all, it is necessary to use analytical tools to understand the state in which they are located. Hence, the differentiation of self-scale by Murray Bowen can be used, which will show the level of emotional and relationship maturity of spouses (Jones, 2020). Based on the information received, it is possible to gain awareness of the degree of readiness of the husband and wife to work on the marriage. Further, it is essential to note that the concepts of triangles and triangulation can be applied to these relations (Willis et al., 2021). Therefore, when conflicts arise, spouses entangle a third person, a son or daughter, and blame each other for their problems.
It is quite possible that the relationship between the spouses was seriously affected by the constant separation and absence of the husband when he served in the Navy. This is because they did not have enough time to build effective relationships and acquire the skills to find a compromise and mutual understanding. Thus, the central aspect of therapy may be the emphasis on building a renewed bond between spouses, since the research stated that “how couples communicate helps to explain bidirectional links between depressive symptoms and relationship distress” (Barry et al., 2019, p.280). This may also include finding new ways of communication and experiencing grief and hardships together to bring husband and wife together (Dias et al., 2017). It is vital because “parents face a role-identity conflict as they became aware that the absence of their child challenged their identity as a parent” (Dias et al., 2017, p. 320). An important part of the strategy should also be holding weekly meetings with a specialist to help in navigating solutions to the couple’s problems.
Conclusion
In conclusion, relationships within the nuclear family can be jeopardized by multiple factors. Often, problems can arise even at those stages when the spouses are relatively happy and lead a quiet lifestyle. In the presented case of Jeff and Melissa, the main problem was the lack of communication and mutual assistance and support in difficult times. Because of this, the husband and wife became estranged from each other, and they needed the help of a counseling specialist.
References
Barry, R. A., Barden, E. P., & Dubac, C. (2019). Pulling away: Links among disengaged couple communication, relationship distress, and depressive symptoms. Journal of Family Psychology, 33(3), 280. Web.
Dias, N., Docherty, S., & Brandon, D. (2017). Parental bereavement: Looking beyond grief. Death Studies, 41(5), 318-327. Web.
Jones, D.L. (2020). The difference between triangles and triangulation: Family systems theory for church leaders. Outlook Features. Web.
Willis, K., Miller, R. B., Yorgason, J., & Dyer, J. (2021). Was Bowen correct? The relationship between differentiation and triangulation. Contemporary Family Therapy, 43(1), 1-11. Web.