Summary of session I
The first Session was held on January 11, 2010 at my home. After introducing themselves, spouses agreed to sign up the consent form supplied by the school. I introduced my school and the nature of the course. Later on we discussed confidentiality. I assured them that every piece of information would be saved under a “top secret” label. Before testing, I was interested in the details of how these two met each other. It was time full of sincere communication between me and couple. I tried to seem quite clear in what I wanted to say and to hear in response. I was constantly keeping a strict eye on my language and communication skills during our interview. It helped in making our conversation honest and informative.
As far as I have understood, their meeting bears a bit trivial coloring. Wife said that she noticed her would-be husband when they were working together. At that time husband used to spend a lot of time with her brother. She confessed she did not like him at first. However, as it turned out, she found out ways for being together. Husband responded on the same question in the same way. According to his honest confessions, he had planned to get to know her. That was a primary motivation. Thus, obscured feelings of both became apparent. Trying to come across, I continued asking questions. I paid attention to how their emotions were reflected in their gestures and on their faces. I asked to tell me about current problems in their family.
Wife said that she would like her husband to understand her willingness to work on regular hours instead of working overtime, as she has been working earlier. She also said she would like her husband to run his own business instead of spending most of his cash on antiques. Husband accepted her request and promised to improve on the issue. He said that he was frustrated by the financial constraints especially on the side of their children. He loved his grandchildren, but at the same time he felt that they disrespected him at home. In fact, this calls for the need to reconcile by talking to the grandchildren on the benefits of forgiveness and letting go the past (Miller et. al, 2009). They are together for 32 years. Moreover, couple was supporting their adult children financially.
Taking this moment into account, I gave them the task to test their character traits as of mutual compatibility in order to relieve their situation somehow.
Summary of Session II
It was provided on January 18, 2010 at my location and in my home office. The time we spent was patterned with points on peculiarities of couple. Moreover, both were amazed when they saw results of testing. In fact, they had enough information on their personalities. Data on couple’s testing results are represented in the table taken from www.pairtest.com.
On the scales of DL and DS couple showed that a figure of a man matters in their family. The scores also identified impenetrable assistance of a female part in their union. It is not essential to suppose facts of coercion here. Husband is an admirable leader but along with wife’s suggestions on everything they do.
The AH and SP scales only supported claims as of male and female roles in coupe’s life. Thus, wife had low average and high AH/SP rates respectively. As far as I know, religious background of her prevented all detrimental impacts in these peculiar traits. Husband estimates life, as a constant and cruel struggle. That is why he showed average and high average readings.
As a typical American family, spouses are distinctively outlined in their mutual dependence when looking at NH/PS scales. Wife is great at cooking and taking care of her family. Husband is strong in promoting pieces of advice and consolatory words.
Traits concerned with SA and SR are identified better in case with wife. Supposedly, they lived a terribly difficult life. Husband has high average reading of SR. It relates toward financial problems with their children and their worries about it, as a result.
This couple is strong physically and emotionally mostly due to wife’s efforts. It is also illustrated in readiness and aptness of wife to encounter changes and routine in different situations. Owing to husband’s biases regarding to politics, society and state’s affairs, I realized his less sociable nature, as an individual. However, couple’s aesthetic pleasures overlap. Due to religious aspects as of wife’s submission to husband, IR scale shows higher results in the case with husband. It constitutes normality of their relations and unwillingness of wife to blame her husband categorically, even if he is wrong.
Last five scores showed that the problem of wife is in her odd worries about financial, political and family stability. She is led by traditional tendencies ignoring current movements of time. On the other hand, husband lays more emphasis on the features of stratification and social status, as a major factor for constructing relations. His higher interest to outdoor affairs is covered by wife’s higher interest toward internal steadfastness. On the other hand, the results showed obvious worries of wife about their monetary problems, as it was mentioned in the very beginning.
Thus, the results showed that this family is strong due to the solidarity between wife and husband. However, looking at the testing results, wife showed more diligence, patience and physical and moral strength. She seems to serve, as a constructive assistant to husband. However, husband does not give up in his age and behaves, as a typical strong man. On the other hand, in some points he lacks responsibility.
Summary of Session III
Session 3 was performed on January 25, 2010 at the same place. Spouses informed that they were still processing ways for improvement based on the results of their character features. Hopefully, they were doing their homework realizing that it would take them much time and efforts.
They told me that the reason is in financial crisis that impacted their daughter. However, I encouraged them by saying that the effect would only be achieved due to repeated steps in following the plan of actions. Couple agreed and said that this would definitely be the optimal way for them. Both felt relief since they started planning. I only suggested making analysis of what had been done every two weeks. In order to make such moments more impressive and memorable, I recommended performing parties in a form of dinners or picnics in the countryside. It would additionally demonstrate couple’s sustainability while confronting life’s difficulties.
One more objective that I underlined is that owing to age peculiarities spouses should constantly omit stresses and scandals in the family. I tried to persuade them in a healing outcome of this testing. All in all, the research showed that character traits depend on the gender belonging with the passing of the years. In this respect men become more vulnerable than women. It can be supposed with the burden of responsibility that runs on men’s shoulders during life.
Reference
Miller, R., Perlman, D. & Stephens-Brehm, S. (2009). Intimate Relationships. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Worthington, E. L. (2005). Hope-focused marriage counseling: A guide to brief therapy. Westmont, IL: InterVarsity Press.