Emotional Intelligence and the “Three Good Things”

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Undoubtedly, origins, heredity, and the strengths invested in education influence a person’s ability to succeed in adulthood. At the same time, success in life is affected by a unique combination of intellectual capacity and emotional sensitivity, where one’s feelings and desires are not used destructively but to achieve long-term goals. One of the main components of emotional intelligence is knowing one’s weaknesses and strengths and co-existing with them calmly and managing emotions, and limiting their destructive impact on oneself. Whatever one’s university degree or upbringing, it is the ability to control one’s feelings and notice the feelings of others that will affect one’s ability to establish relationships in personal life and business, gain influence, and lead a team, and start a family.

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Patterns in “Three Good Things”

When there is free time, it is essential not only to relax but also to analyze feelings and emotions. Time management is becoming an increasingly important skill (Aeon & Aguinis, 2017). Often people do not realize what they think before they go to sleep, which directly impacts the mood and productivity of the next day. By giving an account of one’s feelings, one can detach oneself from them and not get bogged down in destructive and disembodied thoughts. For several weeks in the evening, I analyzed my thoughts. Primarily thoughts about what new things happened, what achievements there were, learning outcomes, relationships with others, good food, good weather. Three categories can be identified if they summarize all the good things: achievements, new experiences, relationships. Depending on what events filled the day and what the last action was before the internal analysis, thoughts formed into specific patterns.

Relationships, new experiences, achievements.

Almost every day, a person interacts with people in one way or another. It can be face-to-face (meeting a friend, going to the shop) or remote (social media, talking on the phone, meeting online). Some people believe that happiness comes primarily from unique personal achievements, while others see it more as an experience gained through social relationships (Shin, Suh, Eom, & Kim, 2018). When some vivid and enjoyable interaction with people has occurred during the day, this is the first thought when analyzing in the evening. Remembering all the dialogues is followed by the experience gained; possible achievements follow the adventure.

New experiences, achievements, relationships.

Life consists of knowingly or arbitrarily analyzing what is going on around. Self-regulation is being aware of and observing the experiences of each moment, thoughts, feelings, or sensations. When a person focuses explicitly on new trends, this is brought to the forefront of ideas. Focusing on the experience is seen as an attitude of curiosity, acceptance, and openness (Bajaj, Gupta, & Sengupta, 2019). The logical continuation is followed by achievements, followed by relationships with people who have influenced what happened in one way or another. Through constant contact with experiences, mindfulness can influence various factors related to the positive functioning of thoughts.

Achievements, relationships, new experiences.

It is human nature to pay attention to criticism and praise. At the same time, people partly live with the attitude that compliments are not a reason to be happy. However, these things are indispensable components for analyzing one’s achievements. When there is an outside opinion, a person is more likely to reflect on their importance and relevance in their life. In other words, when thinking about achievements, thoughts about relations with others and their opinions are also an integral part. It is necessary to understand what experiences it has brought to review and objectively evaluate what has happened.

Patterns of Causes

Thinking is influenced by many factors: upbringing, environment, level of intelligence, character type and attributes, education, and much more. These shape a person’s beliefs, both intermediate and profound: they may change during life, but they are always the most crucial thinking element. Having analyzed the patterns of one’s thoughts throughout this experiment, one can conclude that the main factors that influence them are one’s actions and the actions of others. The first good thing that comes to mind during an evening reflection depends on the day’s most vivid and memorable event. An intelligent analysis of the events that have occurred, focusing on the good, has a significant impact on the subsequent perception of life.

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Appropriate actions should be taken to continue this pattern. Firstly, choose a quiet and peaceful place so that no one disturbs the reflection. Second, remember all the significant moments of the day: it is necessary to account for everything that happened not only in the evening but throughout the day, that is, to approach actions consciously. Thirdly, it is required to concentrate on positive things, those that bring joyful emotions. It is impossible to have a constructive dialogue about happiness without understanding what makes it feel that way. (Christensen, 2017). It does not mean that one should ignore the negative aspects. It’s about the priorities that are placed on reflection. Working on thinking allows us to develop new beliefs, and therefore positive thoughts, which will bring much greater emotional peace of mind.

Linkages: Emotional Intelligence and Strengths DATA

Emotional intelligence affects the ability to understand how others feel and think. Understanding feelings is easy to manage yourself – from conscious eating to work schedules and time planning. This indicator is an essential construct in personality psychology (Blasco-Belled, Rogoza, Torrelles-Nadal, & Alsinet, 2019). Based on EI analysis, a crucial factor is the ability to be aware of one’s own emotions and others. It allows for effective conflict resolution and makes communication more constructive. It is necessary to learn to pick up on the feelings of others and to understand what is going on to have a positive experience with people. Listening, in this case, is an essential aspect for new experiences, for enhancing achievements, and for improving relationships. It is about listening to what is said and what is not said or only partly said. Listening involves observing body language, identifying inconsistencies between verbal and non-verbal messages. The development of active listening skills should be combined with social science skills and analyzing one’s strengths and weaknesses.

It is necessary to keep a balance between developing relationships and achieving one’s goals. Success depends not only on what one knows but also on who one knows. People with high EQ are more likely to work on rhetorical techniques or are already proficient in persuasive techniques (Waldman & Bowen, 2016). They know how to prioritize verbally, don’t expect their emotions to be guessed, and rarely slip into passive-aggressive behavior. Approaches to interactions with people need to be thoughtful and deliberate.


In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, a person often lacks the focus to be aware of all experiences and truly understand what they want. Although mindfulness requires constant effort, it requires a special kind of effort, natural and unforced. One should notice when thoughts or feelings force a distraction from reality, and at the exact moment, redirect one’s attention to where it is required. Emotional intelligence is a complex concept that involves mastery of many skills. Among them are empathy, self-awareness, curiosity, analytical thinking, basic understanding needs, and interpreting non-verbal signals. All of these will help to correctly identify the emotions of others and manage them to achieve one’s own goals.

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Aeon, B., & Aguinis, H. (2017). It’s about time: New perspectives and insights on time management. Academy of Management Perspectives, 31(4), 309-330.

Bajaj, B., Gupta, R., & Sengupta, S. (2019). Emotional stability and self-esteem as mediators between mindfulness and happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies, 20(7), 2211-2226.

Blasco-Belled, A., Rogoza, R., Torrelles-Nadal, C., & Alsinet, C. (2019). Emotional intelligence structure and its relationship with life satisfaction and happiness: New findings from the bifactor model. Journal of Happiness Studies, 1-19.

Christensen, C. M. (2017). How Will You Measure Your Life? (Harvard Business Review Classics). Harvard Business Review Press.

Shin, J. E., Suh, E. M., Eom, K., & Kim, H. S. (2018). What does “happiness” prompt in your mind? Culture, word choice, and experienced happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies, 19(3), 649-662.

Waldman, D. A., & Bowen, D. E. (2016). Learning to be a paradox-savvy leader. Academy of Management Perspectives, 30(3), 316-327.

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PsychologyWriting. (2022) 'Emotional Intelligence and the "Three Good Things"'. 15 July.


PsychologyWriting. 2022. "Emotional Intelligence and the "Three Good Things"." July 15, 2022. https://psychologywriting.com/emotional-intelligence-and-the-three-good-things/.

1. PsychologyWriting. "Emotional Intelligence and the "Three Good Things"." July 15, 2022. https://psychologywriting.com/emotional-intelligence-and-the-three-good-things/.


PsychologyWriting. "Emotional Intelligence and the "Three Good Things"." July 15, 2022. https://psychologywriting.com/emotional-intelligence-and-the-three-good-things/.