What Does Healthy Grieving Look Like?


Grieving is a lamentation that occurs due to the loss of property, relatives and friends. Ross (1993) developed a grieving model with five distinct steps, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. In the biblical story of Ayub, it is evident that the latter underwent three stages that included the second, fourth, and fifth steps. At the acceptance stage, joy interacts with this process whereby a medical practitioner could become happy for a dead patient because there were no chances of surviving.


When human beings experience loss, especially through death, they undergo a period of grieving to cope with the situation. This paper will focus on the Kubler’s model of grieving, compare it with Job’s story in the bible, relate this process with joy, and evaluate how it correlates with personal model of dealing with loss.

Significance of Grieving Process

Essentially, the grieving process helps victims to undergo a gradual course towards acceptance of loss. This implies that the affected people pass through various steps to avoid emotional imbalance and infinite depression. In essence, nurses should understand this process since it facilitates the provision of the necessary support, advice and guidance. Additionally, it is important for the sake of their welfare because they also experience grief after the death of a patient (Brosche, 2007).

Ross Grieving Model

Ross (1993) suggested that there are five stages undergone by victims during the grieving period, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Individuals tend to reject the reality and convince themselves that the undesirable event has not occurred. In cases of death, the victims try to assume that the deceased person has not died even when it is extremely obvious. Further, she elaborated that the denial is followed by manifestations of anger. In this stage, the affected people portray rage towards those who might have caused the loss. This step precedes a period of bargaining where losers try to create the hope of reversing or mitigating that situation. This is succeeded by a period of depression in which the griever prefers being alone and understands the certainty of death. In the fifth stage, individuals accept the irreversibility of death and settle down.

Description of Job’s Story

Job was described as a staunch believer and follower of God’s teachings. Since Satan wanted to snatch him from God, he sought permission to impose some afflictions by taking away his properties. After accomplishing this imposition, Job maintained his faith in God despite losing all the animals and other properties (Rosenberg, 2009). Satan advanced the test by killing his children and bringing illness to turn him away from God. Despite the magnitude of these temptations, Job portrayed an undeviating commitment to God and his teachings.

Comparative Analysis

The way in which Job handled his lamentation did not match with Kubler’s grieving model completely. However, it portrays substantial consistency with the model in various instances of his experience. First, when Job is informed about the death of his children, he tore his lobe with malice. This was a real manifestation of anger as envisaged in Kubler’s grieving model (Rosenberg, 2009). In another instance, Job portrayed an aspect of bargaining where he spoke with hope that God will restore his property. In this regard, he stated that although God had slain him, there was an assurance of restoration (Rosenberg, 2009). Lastly, he accepted his situation and reckoned that God had taken his property legitimately since he was the one who had provided it (Rosenberg, 2009). This implied that he underwent three stages of Kubler’s model as shown in his story. Therefore, it could be concluded that his model differed from Kubler’s process since it included three stages rather than five.

Kubler’s Model and Other Religions

The Quaran, which is considered as an Islamic holy book, narrated about a man known as Ayub. In fact, most people express opinions that the stories of Ayub and Job talk about the same person. However, the Quaran does not include the story of Ayub’s friends, unlike the bible. In essence, the story of Ayub reflects the three steps that have been discussed in the previous paragraph, including anger, bargaining and acceptance.

Interaction between Joy, Kubler’s Model and Jobs Story

Joy is a feeling of amusement owing to actions or conditions that favor someone. This emotion interacts with the process of grieving after the acceptance stage. For example, when a patient dies, a nurse might experience grief due to the relationship that existed. After acceptance stage, the practitioner could become joyful because the patient’s sufferings came to an end especially in cases where there were no chances of surviving.

Kubler’s Model and Personal One

I have noted that I always undergo the five stages of the grieving process, but without my knowledge. The understanding that grieving is a process, which incorporates various steps, has changed my original perception. Initially, I believed that grief exists after the person dies until burial and diminishes afterwards.


It is evident that Kubler’s model of grieving is essentially similar to Job’s and Ayub’s stories. Further, it has been established that joy interacts with this model after acceptance.


Brosche, T. (2007). A Grief Team within a Healthcare System. Dimensions of Critical Care Nursing, 26(1), 21-28.

Rosenberg, D. (2009). A Literary Bible. Berkeley: Counterpoint Publishers.

Ross, E. (1993). On Death and Dying. Toronto: Maxwell Macmillan International.

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1. PsychologyWriting. "What Does Healthy Grieving Look Like?" September 12, 2023. https://psychologywriting.com/what-does-healthy-grieving-look-like/.


PsychologyWriting. "What Does Healthy Grieving Look Like?" September 12, 2023. https://psychologywriting.com/what-does-healthy-grieving-look-like/.