Shopping has become a part of my daily activities because it triggers emotions such as happiness. I love the addiction because the smell of new products significantly impacts my happiness. I frequently shop because it helps reduce negative feelings such as anxiety, stress, and depression. Marketing messages have become a reminder as they constantly push me to shop. The smell of new products has dramatically enhanced my addiction because I frequently shop to smell the products.
Sometimes I purchase products multiple times, and it negatively affects my emotions. This is because I end up having several products with the same features. Purchasing similar products made my family notice the condition I was experiencing. I feel helpless because I have tried to control the addiction with no success. Sometimes I ignored the messages, and I did not go shopping at one point. However, the outcome was very hurtful because I was depressed the whole night for not accomplishing a usual task. Shopping has significantly wasted my funds because I spend most of my salary on shopping. There were instances where I borrowed money from my friends and family to satisfy my shopping needs. The addiction has negatively impacted my financial status as I am indebted to many people.
I am abstaining from shopping addiction because it has negatively impacted my life. My family is very supportive, and I will use nature walk to substitute the addiction. The project is beneficial; however, there are many temptations, such as holidays and birthdays, and I will not read marketing messages and emails. My craving is triggered by negative emotions and sighting of commercial centers. Various emotions came up during the abstinence periods, such as fear and anger, and they were always directed at family and friends. Abstaining has dramatically improved my health by eradicating negative feelings and enhancing my relationship with family and friends. My family members and my best friends are very supportive, and they always make sure I am making progress.
It was challenging to control myself from shopping during the holiday period. Being a devoted customer on several shopping platforms, temptations were always present. I had enrolled in marketing messages and emails, and most of the business organizations sent adverts whenever new products were in stock. One of the tempting times was when silk-coated cotton dresses were advertised with a 30% discount for loyal customers. It was challenging to ignore the message and lie to my family members that I was going to a show. There were several dresses at the shopping center, and I bought all of them despite the extremely high prices.
Another occasion was during my best friend’s birthday party. It is customary to gift someone during such events. However, with my addiction, I used the party as an excuse for shopping. My family was very concerned about my condition, and everyone was constantly checking up on me. I purchased several dresses and told them they were for the party. However, after the party, I realized it was essential, to be honest with myself, and this gave me the psyche to find possible solutions to the addiction.
I empathized with people struggling to end addiction because it is very challenging. Abstaining without an end date is problematic because it reminds one about the target to accomplish. My bag of tricks contains staying focused on positive things like exercising, reading, and a lot of self-care. The defense mechanism I have noticed myself employing is Rationalization. I noticed that I would be upset with something or somebody, and instead of addressing it, I would let it build up. With the holidays around the corner, I have to be mindful of all the emails and commercials. The most learning aspect is that ending addiction requires the focus and involvement of people who are willing to help. After the project, I plan to involve my family and friends until I end my addiction.
The biological symptoms that I experienced during the addiction period include random eating disorders. I experienced an eating disorder during the addiction period. I lost appetite, and I was not able to take meals properly. It was very challenging to eat more than two meals a day. At first, I thought it was something normal, and after several days, the disorder continued. I tried various strategies, such as taking meals with friends and, at times, from the cafeteria, but none helped. I lost significant body weight, and I opted for solutions such as appetizers to increase my appetite. The problem persisted for several weeks, and I had to resolve to soft drinks. Coping was very difficult because I could not study properly, and I had to seek medication.
I experienced various psychological effects, including anxiety, impulse control problem, depression, and substance use disorder. Firstly, anxiety problems were a significant part of my emotion. I used to be anxious in many instances, and it was always accompanied by sweating and increased heartbeats. For example, handling discussion forums in school was very challenging. Previously, I could communicate clearly in forums, laugh, and make fun of. However, I was unable to handle such cases because of anxiety problems. I lost confidence and could not engage in many school activities, fearing negative emotions. My anxiety levels increased with time, and I became incompetent in many daily tasks. I had difficulties when driving alone, and I could not concentrate on the road. I could not focus, and handling traffic was a problem.
Secondly, the impulse control problem became a significant psychological problem. Handling emotions became a problem, and I got angry most of the time. I almost lost important people in my life because of overreacting on several occasions. My best friend once made fun of me, and it was typical of us. However, I overreacted, and we almost got into a fight. It was unusual because we had been friends for more than ten years and had never fought. My reaction forced her to leave silently, and I kept on being aggressive. However, the condition extended, and at one point, I almost slapped my daughter because she disagreed with my opinion.
Thirdly, I became depressed, and I began losing interest in things and people. For instance, my hobby was hiking, and I enjoyed the activity. Conversely, during the addiction period, I lost interest in hiking. The outdoor activity was not enjoyable anymore, and I could not participate. I used to overthink, and sometimes I felt that life was meaningless. Depression was the worst psychological problem during the addiction period because of the unrealistic thought that I experienced. Everything seemed to be uncomfortable, and no one was attempting to change. I had unrealistic expectations, and I wanted everyone to feel the psychological pain. Fourthly, substance use disorder developed because it was the only way I could stay active and happy. Drugs became the solution to my problems, and a day could not end without taking caffeine. There was comfort in hallucination, and this increased my desire to use other drugs, such as marijuana.
The social effect that I developed during the addiction time was personality disorder. I never wanted to be close to anyone, and I preferred being alone. I became secretive and withdrew from friends and family. I came up with reasons for not attending group activities. I preferred reading alone on certain occasions, even when the tasks were done in groups. Having friends was very challenging because I always wanted to be alone. I lost interest in friendship, and I started hating people who had been with me for many years. The most challenging situation was handling my emotions, especially when I lost control of my temper. It was very challenging to tell my best friend about my condition to understand that I overreacted because of the situation that I was experiencing, and it took several days for her to understand. However, there are manageable situations during the addiction period. I was able to control my desire to commit suicide because of the harsh condition I was going through.
Abstaining from shopping has not only allowed me to save money but also put things in perspective. I am trying to find out how and why it got out of hand, and I’m a lot calm now. I had to realize that I had a problem, and I was going to fix it. After a couple of weeks of not overshopping, my daughter told me how proud she was. My family fully supports me, and that means a lot to me. With this occurrence, my perception of chemically dependent individuals has dramatically changed because I was able to abstain from shopping addiction.
Sixto-Costoya, A., Castelló-Cogollos, L., Aleixandre-Benavent, R., & Valderrama-Zurián, J. (2021). Global scientific production regarding behavioral addictions: An analysis of the literature from 1995 to 2019. Addictive Behaviors Reports, 14, 100371. Web.